Day Tripper

Got a good reason for taking the easy way out,
Got a good reason for taking the easy way out - now,
She was a day tripper, One way ticket, yeh,
It took me so long to find out,
and I found out.
She's a big teaser, she took me half the way there,
She's a big teaser, she took me half the way there - now,
She was a day tripper, One way ticket, yeh.
It took me so long to find out,
and I found out.
Tried to please her, she only played one night stands,
Tried to please her, she only played one night stands -
now, She was a day tripper, Sunday driver, yeh,
It took me so long to find out,
and I found out.
Day tripper, yeh.
____

I'm remiss in posting these days. I did the Fucked Up 47 (courtesy of Stein) 1/8/09, on my 47th birthday, which for me was:

235 rope jumps
47 sit-ups
47 push-ups (I do it men's style; not very well, but i try)
47 press pushes (with 18 pound bar)
47 ball slams
235 rope jumps

Poor Carter had my birthday to work through as well:

47 Box jumps
47 Kettle bells
47 sit-ups
47 push ups
47 shoulder presses
47 squats
470 rope jumps


Two days later (Saturday) Carter and I redid the Fucked Up 47. Carter really kicked ass; I think I was slow. I added another set of each exercise by 10 each, and matched Carter's rope jumps (he did 470, I finished 100 of my own, and did his 470 to boot). Yea for me!

Carter and I made up our own workout a week prior; the Kermit (all legs. Ribbit.)

Box Jumps 10 for me/15 for C.
Wall Balls 10 for me/15 for C.
Kettlebells (10 for me/15 for C.

For time, reps times 4.

Kinda weak sauce, but we were beat without Stein to kick us up a few notches. We started with our usual warm-up, squats, rowing, rope jumps, jumping jacks and Sampson stretches.

Okay workout, and we were glad we did it.

I've been sick the last week and missed out on Tuesday's ass-kicking with Stein. But hey, today (1.15.09) I made it in on my own for 500 rope jumps and a 3,500K row at level 6. Not too bad for a former fat chick with irritable bowel syndrome.

But here's the thing: I'm thinking about how hard it has been to get here. I still make excuses to skip my workouts sometimes, whether it's with my trainer or on my own. The days I'm sick, it's such a "great" excuse ... except I get so damned antsy, trying to stay in my barbiturate blur (like the last two days), with blurry speech, and blurry vision, and feeling dizzy ... and still getting up off the sofa for a few squats because I can't stand sitting still one more fucking minute. Or showing my mom a few more senior moves she can do to build her strength and endurance.

I can't reiterate enough how damned good it feels to be able to squat. It's a simple movement, a natural one, and yet one year ago almost today, I couldn't squat to save my life. Most Americans can't squat. Go to Japan, you'll see what I mean. How about this? When was the last time you squated down to the lowermost portions of your kitchen cabinet to find something elusive and did it without holding onto the countertop? Be honest. Most people can't do this with ease; but I can. Easily. Without holding the countertop to get down, or to get back up. Try it. Rest down on your heels and squat down like you're going to touch your ass to the floor -- not on your toes like you're taking a shit. Get down there on your entire foot and hold it there... Can you do it? If you can, bless you. If you can't, start practicing.

Okay, I could kind of get down there in a half-squat, but getting up was effing hard. Today, I squat down completely, almost everyday, sometimes several times a day. It's a movement that I do because I don't have to make excuses for it and get myself down there to find kitchen equipment, clean things, pick things up, look for things under the bed. You name it, some semblance of a squat is what it takes. And now I can do it without thought. Aside from strength and weight loss, being able to do an easy squat may be the best payoff I've gotten. A simple movement, a natural one, and now I don't think of it much. I just do it.

As I look back on the last year, I remember the shame. I was so fat, I couldn't really move around the fat on my body. My stomach fat was in the way of sit-ups as well as other abdominal movements. It was hard to move my fat arms around. Doing certain arm stretches were particularly difficult. I have a very long waist, which makes it seem (at least to me) that my arms and legs are short. This, along with the fat, made for the most embarrassment. I just couldn't stretch certain ways with much ease. As I've lost fat, ease of movement has increased -- I still have issues with the long waist, simply because there's a few inches (two - three inches more than "normal" by edict of my corset maker) that increases the difference between my ability to do things that normal-waisted people can do. But losing the fat made it so much easier... My God, I don't have to make excuses anymore. And I've been making excuses for 11 months. As of December, 2008, I stopped making excuses. I am my worst excuse. I have been a Day Tripper.

It feels good to be a Day Tripper; you do your workout, you go home, you eat what you want, you bask in the glory of what you did at the gym, and you dread the next day you have to deal with the exertion, pain and frankly, the being laid naked by your limitations. You figure you'll do better next week, and vow that you'll keep your gym appointments. But you find every excuse not to. Oh, baby, I've been there, and it's been my trainer that's kept me in line... because I let him. I could easily find a way around him, but I usually don't. Unless I'm really ill, he calls me on my shit and I go. And I endure. And I work. And I hurt. and I come out, in the end, better in all realms of my body. Holistically, I am a better person. A year after I started this program, I have come out almost at the other end. I am proud of me; secure in my body, happy with who I am... but I'm not done with it yet.

It's taken me a year, folks, but today... on this day, on January 15, 2009 I deign myself a Life Tripper. Not a Day Tripper.

Stop making excuses. Stop delaying. Stop saying you can't. Stop being embarrassed; own your shame and swear to yourself you will make yourself better. There is no shame in starting at the bottom, because the only direction you have is Up. The only shame is when you make excuses and you don't get out There -- wherever That is.

So get There, not to "That". Lose your shame. Use your body. Stop being a Day Tripper. There is no easy way out....

Peace.