And the people - who hide themselves behind a wall of illusion
Never glimpse the truth - then it's far too late - when they pass away.
We were talking - about the love we all could share - when we find it
To try our best to hold it there - with our love
With our love - we could save the world - if they only knew.
Try to realize it's all within yourself
No-one else can make you change
And to see you're really only very small,
And life flows on within you and without you.
We were talking - about the love that's gone so cold and the people,
Who gain the world and lose their soul -
They don't know - they can't see - are you one of them?
When you've seen beyond yourself -
Then you may find peace of mind, is waiting there -
And the time will come when you see we're all one,
And life flows on within you and without you.
Today's Crossfit:
Donald (my Dad)
run 400 meters (or thereabouts)
40 push-ups
50 sit-ups
60 squats
Do these in any order, in any number of increments for time, until finished. Time today: around 10 minutes (probably would have been about 10:20 if I'd finished the run... read on about that).
Warm up: Rowed 2000 meters, walking lunges, 200 rope jumps, 100 jumping jacks. Samson Stretches -- good ones. Arm rolls. My head was really working with my body today. I thought about what I wrote yesterday, really knowing how well my body works for me and I should damned well respect it and use it! The rowing went quickly -- Stein kept talking to me, which keeps my mind off the task at hand most of the time, and I told him about last night's blog. I didn't mention I was dedicating today's workout to Dad.
To the crossfit: Stein laid out what he expected and I took that in, thought, "Yeah, okay ... I'm ready." I got to running, behind Paradise food, past the garbage bins (makes you want to run faster), had to walk a bit, but finished at a good jog. Not bad for the fat chick who couldn't roll her away at more than a quick walking clip a few months ago.
Got back to the gym and got right into the push-ups and managed 2o start... then to sit-ups, which I have a bit of a struggle with after 10; managed to get to 25, making a lot of noise at the end to get through it. The squats were cool, I knocked out 30 of them without too much stress. Gotta admit I was favoring that left leg issue I had, so I wasn't coming down as far as I should.
Next set started to push my limits, got through 20 more push-ups, the rest of the sit-ups and rest of the squats -- this time getting down into some nice deep squats. Pretty ones, at the end.
Done with that, I had the last leg: the run. I was on this one, after all, this was for my Daddy, though I was very beat -- and about 3/4 of the way down the first stretch, I stepped forward on the left leg and felt a horrendous SNAP at the rear of my thigh -- just like the POP I heard/felt on Christmas. An Amazing pain just stunned me, and I froze. Hit with an "Oh Shit" moment, and then thought very briefly that it was ironic that I was working out for my Dad,and my Leg is what stopped me cold. Honestly, it was ironically funny. Coming back to my sense, I realized I wasn't laying on the ground and yes, I could put some weight on the left leg. I've always been a whiner, but damn I'll be the last one to call an ambulance unless my entrails are falling out. They weren't, so I called out to Stein that I really fucked something up, and hobbled back.
Now I don't see this as a failure at all. My leg needs some tending to, and I'm a little concerned about the hip joint itself, though I think (I hope) it's muscular. The ice I'm sitting one feels very nice...
And though I'd been vascillating about whether to do a workout on my birthday, and this would be a GREAT excuse not to, it was this very instance that determined me to get my ass in there and do it. Besides, I want to have martini's and oysters that night, so I best get in and bust butt. Stein suggests we do some Circuit Training, maybe leave the left leg at rest for awhile. Maybe he's right....
As I said yesterday, today's workout was for dad; and I did it, though I did have to fight off some tears, sometime during the last five sit-ups, listening to AudioSlave, and I just felt the tears start coming down, then sucked them back up and told myself to stop the bullshit and just do it. For dad. For me. This helped. Really, I'm not that much of a sucker, but thinking about my dad trying to do what I did today... what I do every time I work out... and I should just smile, because he'd love that I can do it. He'd love that I get in there and do this shite. He'd love me for being the savage my son says I am. And for the admiration my husband Carter gives me for doing it. And for just fucking doing it!!!
Irony: the last length of running, when I repulled my hip and came to abrupt stop, I was actually kind of amused; the one thing I was so determined to do in his honor, and my leg goes out on me.
I'm feeling so much better today, in spite of the gimpy leg. It's always something with me. Even Stein doesn't blink anymore, he says it's weird the things that go wrong with me, but we'll just work around it on Thursday, which happens to be my 47th birthday.
Personal Best:
Shoulder press, previous 65 weight tops, today 75 pounds. Adam, the nice young guy who also does crossfit applauded my effort. That made me feel good. Stein had to really push me to get it up, but get it up I did. And it didn't require Viagra. So there.
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